The “friend zone” can be a nice place. It’s cozy and fun there. You’re totally comfortable with one another. You understand one another. You have the same taste in books and movies, and you totally “get” each other’s jokes. You can hang out and not say anything, and you’re still having an awesome time. It’s so eassssssy. Right?
And then…you want more.
And why shouldn’t you want more? How great would it be to make out with this person who you already have such a great time with? How GREAT would that be? (No really, it could be great.) You would make the. best. couple. Before you know it, you’re swept up in a romantic fantasy…
But, then what? Making a friendship into something more can have harsh or awkward consequences, even if friendship is a great basis for a long and lasting relationship. If you’re unsure of how to proceed, ask yourself these questions:
1. What kind of feelings to do you have?
Physical attraction can tempt you. It can get you all excited and wanting to make your move. But, if you are going to take a friendship out of the friend zone, you’ll want to make sure that you truly care for this person, and don’t simply want to get snuggly. If all you have are sexual feelings to carry you, you run the risk of having your attraction fizzle after a short time.
2. Are the feelings mutual?
If you’re considering transitioning this relationship, do you have it on good authority that your friend cares for you that way, too? If only one person is into it, you may want to stick to the friend zone. Don’t assume you can convince someone to feel more strongly for you or fall in love with you. Furthermore, remember that you don’t have to! If this friend doesn’t see the qualities that would make you an awesome girlfriend, someone else will.
3. Are your feelings strong enough that you would risk losing your best bud if you two didn’t turn out to be a match made in romantic heaven?
Once friends leave the friend zone, it can be hard to get back there. Yes, it happens, you could rekindle a friendship, but don’t count on it. It can take time if it happens at all.
4. Are you willing to risk other friendships?
That’s right. It’s not just about the two of you. It’s possible that starting something with one friend could upset other friends. Are you the only one with your eye on this person? Or what if your friends get annoyed because your new love affair takes time and attention away from your buds?
5. Do you want to go for this, or what?
If you feel like moving out of the friend zone is the right move, go for it. If you decide not to or that now isn’t the best time, that’s also totally respectable.
Did we miss any tips? Let us know!